15 Reasons to Hate Adulting
Peter Pan, Billy Madison, and Toys 'R' Us kids had it right:
Growing up is no good.
Unfortunately, the rest of us have to grow up at some point in our lives. But that doesn't mean we have to like it. Here are 15 reasons why adulting is just the worst.
1. You have to get a job
The cost of living usually requires some money, which means that you will most likely have to get a job. You probably won't like the job and it will definitely interfere with your Pokémon Go conquests. Also, to add insult to injury, school rules don't apply, which means you still have to work during the summer.
2. You have to pay for stuff
Gone are the days where you can mooch and rely on your parents to pay for your things. You get to use all that moolah you earned from a job you don't like on boring stuff, such as insurance and deodorant. Also, if you went to college you get to pay student loans every month. Hooray!
3. You have to understand money things
IRS, 401K, IRA, NYSE, WTF. Every year you have to do your taxes — what?!? — and then start saving whatever little money you have left for when you get older and can't enjoy it anymore.
4. You have to make appointments
Oil changes, teeth cleaning, physicals, car repairs. For some reason we still don't have robots to automate these tasks for us.
5. You have to go to the dentist on your own
It's hard enough to make a dentist appointment but then you actually have to go to that place by your own free will. The only good thing about the dentist as a kid is that it gets you out of school. Now, as part of your adulting you have to go on your own free time? Lame.
6. You have to feed yourself
Multiple times a day you have to figure out what to feed yourself. It never stops, day after day. Whether it be having to grocery shop and cook your own meal or go buy it from someone else, it requires so much effort to stay alive.
7. You have to check on what made that noise in the middle of the night
It was probably just the wind. But it could also be Michael Myers, Freddie Krueger, Jason Voorhees, or Robert Durst.
8. You have to fix things
Things break, it's inevitable, but then those things have to be fixed. Cars, appliances, toilets, faucets, you name it. You have to either figure it out yourself or pay for someone to do it for you. Ugh.
9. You have to take care of your body
As you age your metabolism slows down and your body turns into marshmallow. Therefore, you have to exercise and eat healthy (including not eating pizza every other meal) to fight this process. Also, health insurance becomes a thing.
10. You have to do all the chores
And you don't even get an allowance, it's just expected of you! Taking out the trash, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning up your room, dusting. And it never stops.
11. You have to wake up on your own
Instead of being awoken by the loving affection of your mom or dad you get the cold hard reality of an alarm on your phone or clock.
12. You have to buy presents
Whether it be birthdays, weddings, or baby showers, you're responsible for getting the present for the occasion. Otherwise, you look like a scrub. Kinda makes you want to have less friends.
13. You have to pay attention to current events
Another terrorist attack, police shooting, economic downturn, and natural disaster is in the news. It's a depressing job but everyone has to do it. Although, what is that they say about ignorance?
14. You have to kill bugs
Spiders, and centipedes, and cockroaches, oh my. Either you work up the courage and whack the hideous creatures with your shoe or you live with the fact that they are lurking under your bed waiting for you to fall asleep…
15. You have to vote for one of these two goons for President